Shiloh Baptist Church
DivorceCare FAQ

Here are some common questions people have about the DivorceCare experience.

Do I have to be divorced to attend DivorceCare? If my husband/wife and I are separated, can I attend?
DivorceCare is helpful for those that are either separated or divorced.

What happens during a typical meeting?
During a meeting we will have an ice breaker type of question and then talk about any events from the past week that may have come up or questions/observations you may have. After that, we’ll watch the week’s video and then have discussion about the video.

Do I have to talk during the first meeting?
No, you don’t have to talk. You are welcome to join the conversation whenever you feel comfortable doing so. While you don’t have to talk, you’ll find that when you do, your healing process will really take off!

Is DivorceCare counseling?
No, DivorceCare is not counseling. Facilitators are there to encourage conversation by introducing topics, encouraging participation, and managing the dynamics of the group. If you are currently seeing a counselor, we encourage you to continue. You’ll be amazed at the healing that takes place by sharing experiences with people in situations similar to yours!

What about confidentiality?
At each meeting, we review the fact that confidentiality is very important. Names of others in the group are not to be shared outside the group. The only time that confidentiality may knowingly be set aside is if we feel that someone may be in danger.

Are there other guidelines?
Besides confidentiality, the other important rule is respect. You are asked to be respectful of others in the group (contribute as well as remembering that others will want to contribute too), of your ex (be honest but don’t bash) and of yourself (be honest but don’t bash!).

Do I have to write in the workbook?
You don’t have to write in the workbook but we encourage you to take notes during the video. Each lesson is outlined in the workbook with plenty of room for notes and thoughts. Your notes will be very helpful when you refer back to the lessons. And like talking during a meeting, taking notes will help you on the path to healing.

I have kids and need to get home at a certain time – is that ok?
Yes – you are free to leave whenever you need to. We hope you can stay for most of the meeting though.

I have my kids on the night that DivorceCare happens. What can I do?
We have childcare available based on need and as requested. Please contact the church office or use the online registration form to indicate this need.

What should I do if I can’t come to one of the sessions?
If you know ahead of time that you can’t be there, please let us know – via phone or email. Then next week just come on back. It’s ok to miss one since each lesson is independent – but you will get the most benefit if you can attend all sessions.

If I miss a class, can I see the DVD at another time?
Check with the facilitators on this. Sometimes it can be arranged for the DVD to be shown at an alternate time. Another option is to attend that week of the next series.

What if my ex (or soon to be ex) signs up for the same session?
Both partners from the marriage may not attend the same session. If you are concerned that your spouse may register, please let us know. You can do this by sending us a message using our contact form and telling us the other person’s name. The one that signs up first gets to attend. The 2nd one may attend the next time or we’ll be glad to help find another group in the area.

I enjoyed the classes a lot, but I think it would help if I went through DC again. Is that permitted?
Absolutely! Once you have attended you will be put on the list of alumni and will be notified when a new series is scheduled. Many people find that they hear things they missed the first time through because they are in a different place emotionally.

I have a question that isn’t addressed here but is important. What can I do?
Feel free to contact us directly in the church office at 919-553-3319
If you would like more information on joining this group please call the church office at (919) 553-3319 or contact us online.

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